Wednesday 13 February 2008

Mongrels.


There were recent rumours that the much beloved Mongrel magazine had ceased to be. Whilst it has been aeons - well, just over a month - since last an issue of this fine publication graced the hipster milieus of Ireland, it simply is not the case. A new issue is due by the end of this month. (A quick nod to Aoife and David.) I am very glad that the magazine shall endeavour onwards, ever onwards. I would rather have missed the music reviews:

92%
James Blunt
All The Lost Souls
Atlantic
It’s become very fashionable to dismiss James Blunt’s music out of hand, just because "You’re Beautiful" got perhaps a little bit overplayed on the radio. But if you do the guy the service of actually listening to more than one of his songs, you may come to realize that he is a songwriter of incredible range and ability. I’m joking. Of course I’m joking. The guy is a wibbly voiced fool and I hope a bird shits on his head. My real score is 0.01% And even that’s being kind. Cunt.
Butler

Two friends of mine met James Blunt in the airport in Barcelona once. Apparently he was quite approachable and mannerly. He was on his way to his recently acquired villa in Ibiza. Fair play to him. I got the bus from Galway to Ennis yesterday. The heating was broken and a deranged Lithuanian woman kept stroking my knee. She had the aberrant, asymmetrical eyes of a Baltic knee stroker. I had no mp3 player, no reading material, and no machete... I was not on my way to a villa in Ennis.

There's a metaphor in there. Somewhere. Possibly.

8 comments:

Ronan Casey said...

Funny you posted this now. Only last night was I bigging up Senor Bluntster.

SHUP YALL FACES AND LEAVE HIM ALONES!!!!1!!! LOL!

Zelig said...

this is my most favouritist review of anything ever!!!!

and on point of the mental Lithuanian on the way to Ennis...Ennis is the motivation for the machete not the Lithuanian

David said...

At least you made it to Ennis.

I rubbed her leg in return...

... woke up cold and naked in a halting spot in Kildare with only one kidney and baby in a basket.

slurkid57 said...

When I first herd the name James Blunt, but not his music, I thought it was some kind of MF-DOOM side project.

Also, zelig is a lurk.

John Cav said...

Ronan: No. I shall not leave him alone. The level of his success worries me at a fundamental humanist level. So there :)

Zelig: I'm guessing Zelig is not your real name and I'm also guessing that I know who this is. Scamp. By the way, the machete was intended to be the metaphorical aspect of the above tirade. As with all sterling metaphors, you can take from it what you will.

David: Answer me one question. Where your wounds at least sterilised?

Slurkid: Your sarcasm knows no bounds. I think that's great.

slurkid57 said...

I think you're great, fuck-face.

That James Blunt/MF-DOOM thing wasn't sarcasm. When I hear the words "James " and "Blunt", I immediately start thinking of the James Bond theme tune crossed with America's Most Blunted. Which is actually a Madvillain tune, now that I think of it.

But still, wouldn't that make a reasonably ok Adult Swim episode? A non-threatening, upper-class English spy, sneaking around the world in the guise of an upper-class, non-threatening upper-class, singer/songwriter. All the while smoking chronic and blasting out Mexican hip-hop from his low-rider.

John Cav said...

Slurkid: "Mexican hip-hop from his low-rider."

You have made me laugh more with this Bond/Blunt scenario than I have done in many an afternoon. And I'm not being sarcastic.

At least I think I'm not.

David said...

Surprisingly the whole thing was done pretty cleanly - sown up neat enough with lovely red stitches.

The baby wasn't in too great a shape though - had both kidneys though.