Monday 23 July 2007

Transformers - A Michael Bay Film

I would say spoiler alert but that would of course indicate that there was something to spoil. And so I present to you:

THE CONCLUSION OF MICHAEL BAY'S TRANSFORMERS - A MICHAEL BAY FILM.

Sam lifts some box and does something. He does so whilst standing near Megatron (the leader of the Decepticons). This causes Megatron to burn or explode and he dies/falls over. Optimus Prime (the good truck from outer space) lives/stands up. Bumblebee (some car from outer space) wants to be friends with Sam and stays on Planet Earth.

The girl is hot. She kisses Sam on the boot of Bumblebee (some car from outer space). Optimus Prime spouts some pseudo-philosophical shite to nobody in particular.

FADE TO INDIFFERENCE.

THE END.

Now follows my capsule review of Michael Bay's Transformers - A Michael Bay Film:

It is the cinematic equivalent of being raped by a bus.

Easily the worst film that I have ever seen.

Fuck you Michael Bay... Fuck you.

3 comments:

aoife mc said...

Ahhh shucks. I wanted it to be good. I watched an original 80s transformers cartoon last night. It was full of moral goodness.
How was Buck last night in Galway? Heading to him tonight in the hub.

nialler9 said...

It WAS good. Obviously a shit plot. But the action was awesome.

John Cav said...

Aoife: Buck 65 was amazing. Even with his neck brace and viral infection. Thou shalt enjoy immensely!

Niall: I was quite hungover whilst watching it, and yet could not enjoy a single moment... A bad sign for a popcorn movie.

Horrible, horrible film. I mean Michael Bay references his own movies in it... "This is way cooler than Armageddon!"... What a complete wanker.

Sigh :)